Killed Me or Built Me

Every time I shut my eyes it replays in my head. Some memories, the ones you never want to remember, stays with you forever. And no matter how I try to forget, the more vivid the retentions become.

Have you ever been physically thrown across a room? Have you played dodge ball, however it was glass being flung at you? Have you feared for your life with a machete over you? Have you ever been battered skin blue? Have you ever been told your worthless and will never amount to anything? Have you ever been neglected? Have you ever been abused?

Words Hurt.

Disregards Hurt.

Hits Hurt.

No Consents Hurt.

Abuse is prevalent in society and most times you do not even realize that you have been abused until you begin to analyse situations in your life and your behaviour patterns compared to other peers. Many individuals may view abuse as just rape, but any form of torture that dehumanizes a person is abuse to that individual. One must first understand that abuse can affect different individuals diversely. To each person their situation is challenging and no one has the right to tell him or her that what they have been through is not worth being traumatized over because another person has gone through worse.

Once it has happened, it scars and imprints forever.

The question is how does one get pass it?

“Forgive & Forget”

Have I forgiven?

Yes.

Have I forgotten?

No.

Daily we hear this phrase "to forgive one must forget", well human nature does not work like that. We are crafted to remember all the negatives and forget the positives.

This is an awful way to live, but our human nature is our human nature. Always remember that no matter what, you are only human.

But the first step to healing is to forgive, no you do not need to forget your situation to be able to forgive. I honestly believe that the memories of these horrid instances build character but I’ll address that soon.

Forgiving is personal. It is not for the abuser. It is for you.

You need to come to peace with what happened. It’s not going anywhere; you cannot go back in time and remove the situation. Forgiving someone that has hurt you immensely is a hard task to complete, but it is possible. Prayer is key with this first step. There is no way you can do this without God’s divine intervention.

Forgiving creates a new level of self. It not only helps you to come to peace about the situation, but it helps you to attain self-peace for yourself. Sometimes abuse has a way of making you feel dirty and bitter, wondering if you were really at fault, hence forgiving your abuser can really make an unexpected difference.

After forgiving, you probably want to come to terms with your abuse. Meaning being open with it. Yes it happened and so what.

Know that I’m not less of a person and neither do I need to hide it. Hiding it means that you are not yet comfortable and appreciating all the aspects that make you who you are.

Now a lot of you reading this may be thinking I have gone delusional to being using the words comfortable and appreciating with topic of abuse. Let me explain.

The belief God gives you nothing you cannot bear is very true. I can testify that God loves His people and would not allow anything to happen to them that they cannot bounce back from.

The abuse you have faced, the abuse I have faced, makes you stronger, makes me stronger.

It has shaped you into the person that you are today!

I do not view it in a negative light, it has happened for me to appreciate life and all the good things even more than I would have. It has happened for me to become more understanding towards people. It has happened for me to share my experience to help others. It has happened to build me as an individual, making me so much stronger to defeat any obstacle that one places in my life.

The fact is, if you have been to hell and back, there’s only heaven left to see.

Therefore, if you become contented enough with the abused you have faced nothing can get you falling back down.

So we have been killed a few times. However, it does not have to have a negative impact on our person. Strategize, how can this make me better? How can I rise? How can I cope and help others like me cope?

Turn every negative into a positive.

I stand firmly against child abuse, and my heart grieves with all the children that have been abused and are still being abused. Better will come! Better must come! Justice will one day be served.

Abuse can be overcome.