Mindful

I look in the mirror and I wonder what do people see, what do people see when they glance at me or get a full stare. I look in the mirror and I wonder, what is it that I see when I look me. Then I question do they see the same things I see. So many times we look at ourselves and see a scared little boy or girl, we wonder are we good enough, are we smart enough, are we talented enough, are we pretty or handsome enough, are we enough. But the real question is enough for who? Are we enough for the world or are we enough for ourselves? The things of this world, these things that we are questioning, that is what sparks our thoughts, sparks our mind then leads gradually to open our mind up to fear.

Little did we know this "f" word, fear, becomes accumulated in our minds, because society allows it to, because we allow society to; and it causes our opportunities, our lives to slip through our own hands. I fear. Do you fear? What should we then do about this thing called fear? I had a dream once, several actually. I wanted to become an impactful human being and travel the world and meet new people and help people. The time came for me to conquer this and I said no.

I was to run for a huge leadership position. And I said no. It would have allowed me to impact lives. And I said no. I was scared. I looked in the mirror and wondered whether or not I would have been good enough. Whether or not people would see the good in me and actually vote for me. They came knocking at my door again. Run! I said no. I'm not made for the front line appearances. I like to work in the background. I am comfortable, let me stay where I am. Yet still, I claimed to have had dreams. But when they came to my door, I turned them down without even realizing that this was the pathway to these said dreams.

This is what our minds will do when we allow fear to captivate it. We must tell fear no, instead of telling our dreams no, just because we feel as if ourselves are not enough to acquire these dreams. Our minds are powerful! It will take in whatever you feed it. So the next time they came knocking, I said oh well what the hell, let me give it a try. It was hard. I cried several times on the pathway. But I tried and decided to never give up. We must always try! It may seem like 'an okay I know that' sort of advice. But let's be real most times we give up right when it starts to hurt a little. I'm too tired, I don't have the money right now to get to where I need to, I won't ask for help because of my pride, these people are too mean, I no longer want to work with them. Screw all of this! More like your screwing yourself. Setting yourself up for failure. We say all these things, instead of just crying when it hurts, wiping the tears off our face after, eating some ice cream or chocolate if we must, and then going back out there determined to continue to fullfil this opportunity that is on the pathway to your journey of success.

It's not easy. Fear. Fear keeps jumping in the middle of things like a dog that didn't get any good training. It hits down every thing on the coffee table that we put up there to remind us that we must never doubt and always try. So to think I have gotten the hang of dealing with fear. I got a message. It was to study in Europe. I said no. It would allow me to travel to apart of the world I had never been. I said no. I was scared without even realizing that I was scared. I looked in the mirror and said to myself I had other plans. This will put life off track. It will put me out of my comfort zone.

They came knocking at my door again. I said no! They said it was me they wanted. I said no! I am an island girl. I cannot live in cold places. I can afford to move to another country, not even for a short time. I am comfortable at where I am in my life right now, let it be. Yet still I claimed to have dreams and be the best at what I was and to be highly motivated. I forgot that this was my pathway and I allowed fear once again to step in and take charge. Oh no! No to fear. So I said yes. It was not easy. The preparation was not easy. I spent more than I had, more than I earned, more than I had budgeted for in that period of life. I met upon obstacles upon obstacles. I cried. I got upset. I threw down the paperwork. But, I wiped my tears, got some sleep and went back at it the next day. Opportunities like this only come once in a while, and we must, we need to ensure we take grasp of it. Hold on to it and even when we get fed up, stick to it and trust the process and timing if your life.

Fear. We must conquer it. We must tell our self YES we can do it. We must feed our minds that it is for us. That we are good, great enough to achieve the goals we have in life. See I learnt the mind is truly powerful. We think it and it can become quite real. So real that fear creeps up to allow you to think it's unreal and you can't! But if we remember that fear exists, then we can see it when it shows up right beside the opportunity at your doorstep and tries to block it. We will fear. It's inevitable. But we must point it out! Look at that FEAR! I see you! Now get out my way! Move pass fear. I leave you with: If life does not make you the least bit uncomfortable, then you are not trying to achieve your goals and living your dreams. Be mindful.

Special thanks to TeHilla Maloney (The Flip Side Series) for inspiring this piece.

https://theflipsideseries.wordpress.com/