Twenty

“I’m not getting older, I’m getting better.”

As a child, I remember picturing twenty as an age that I thought I would be “old” at. I couldn’t wait to be twenty. I couldn’t wait to be an adult. I wanted to dress up every day (specifically in heels) and work in an office and drive, I wanted to drive, specifically a red convertible, like Barbie of course. I wanted to live in my own cute apartment, with pink walls, and have a boyfriend that I was sure I was going to marry in a big puffy white dress.

Twenty.

As a child, I was very unrealistic about twenty. But, nothing is wrong with that. A girl is supposed to dream and dream big; and have high hopes for age accomplishments in life.

Now I am one week into twenty and honestly I don’t wear heels to work, I have learnt to appreciate flats; I cannot drive, at all, not even to start the car, much less to afford the car; I am nowhere close to purchasing my own place and no I am not sure who I will marry just yet.

But what I am sure about is that I am twenty and grateful. I am grateful for life and being speared another year on God’s green earth. I am grateful to be surrounded by people who love and care for my wellbeing. I am grateful to know exactly who I am and to love this person I am blossoming into.

I am twenty and grateful.

I am twenty and old.

Old.

Yes, I am Old.

Not a bad thing.

Being Old is a good thing.

Old.

Overly

Living

The Days.

A lot of people are scared to get up in age, because they know, that this is it, there is no turning back. I cannot get back nineteen, eighteen, ten or the spectacular age three. I am twenty now and twenty one next year and soon thirty.

You are this old and will only get older.

(Remember getting older is getting better)

Why are people scared?

Remember those dreams I was telling you about, that is exactly why we are scared to grow old. We fear never accomplishing these odd way out there dreams that you once had for yourself when you were young.

Those fairy tale dreams.

What if those dreams are not made into reality?

What if I get old, and never experienced my Barbie Convertible?

What if?

Age brings a lot of what ifs. So much so that we forget to ask what now.

What now?

I was open to telling you that I have not accomplished any of my ‘twenty dreams’.

Does this mean my twenty is not great?

Does this mean I should fear for twenty one, much less thrity because I’m running a bit behind time, behind age?

I have no fear for age, because I am living, Overly Living the Days.

My what now is to live, to live in Twenty.

There is no moment in life I do not cherish life, and stop for a while to feel it, to breathe in it. My years on this earth, despite my many dilemmas, have been beautiful. No regrets with saying the years have been beautiful!

Your years on this earth, they have been beautiful. You need to know that these years are beautiful and will only get more beautiful with getting old.

Never get in the habit of fear for age, because aging is something oh so beautiful. So what if there is no Red Convertible for Twenty. What now is the fact is there are so many other accomplishments that you have made if you only stopped to think on them. No matter how small they may seem to you, they are your age accomplishments, and oh sweetie you can’t get them back, there is no turning back. So cherish them, cherish your age accomplishments.

And live freely in being old, because in this living, living in old, you will find things, beautiful things that you did not even see before. The beautiful people around you that share in your happiness of age. The beautiful moments that you make while celebrating this age. The beautiful self you create as you learn to appreciate this new age.

This new age.

Twenty.

“I am not getting older, I’m simply getting better. Better at accomplishing my dreams, no matter the age.”