Unbothered

Why are they not happy for you? Why are you not happy for yourself? Is this what you want? Is this your pathway? Or has it changed? Or is there difference? Do you ever just not know where you are going? Do you ever just want to feel unbothered about where you choose to go? Having it all figured out is who I am, it is what I have lived for, it is my destiny. I must know who I am and what I want and how I will make it happen. After all that is the logical thing to do, that is my logical thing to do, is that your logical thing to do? Or is my level of maturity hindering my moments, my youth, my emotions, my unbothered.

Everything use to bother me, every single thing bothered me, I questioned the why, the how, the when, is it now, for whom, the why. And now I am simply unbothered.

Unbothered. But how? How did it become so easy to let everything, let everyone go, every built up of so called dreams go. I just let it go. You just let it go. Just let it go. Go. I want it all to go. It no longer means anything to me. You no longer mean anything to me. They no longer mean anything to me. It no longer means anything to me. As I am me. Free as I ought to be.

See, sometimes we think we know what we want, but the fact is that, it is not what wants us, that is not what is always for us; understand that it may just not be us. The things we want may not want us. The image we have conceived in our minds of who we are, who we ought to be, what we want, where we want to be, may just not be us. May just not be us. May just not be for us. What is us? What is for us? What then should be us? Trust. Love. Peace. If it doesn't bring you those ingredients, then is really for us, for you, for me? Do you trust the people that should be building you up? Do you love the person that you see in the mirror when you wake up every morning? Does peace reign in your mind as you progress? Life became a heavy burden. The life that I was living, the path I had chosen became one that caused pain, caused heartache, caused stress, caused my life to become unbalanced. The fall on, but way off track started with me trying to be superwoman. I must, I should have, I probably could have accomplished it all. But what was I losing to do just that?

My level of trust. My love for good. My peace of mind. You see, the people that seem to be going somewhere that you choose to surround yourself with, may just be bad for you. And surrounding yourself with them allows you to become them. How low will you go? As low as they are. Putting up a facade. One for each person. So lost in split personalities, you forget who you are and what you stand for. You forget the main reason you started to develop your life in the way that it was developing in the first place. People often strive with you and ahead of you doing the same things that you do and would want to do. But the difference is, the difference was, they have no sight in why they are doing it. This mix allows you to lose your sight as well, your sight of good, your desire for implementing goodness in this world. Then keeping up with all this makes life complicated, more complicated than needs to be. Because no longer are you naturally doing what feels right. A whole new play ground is created and you get lost in the dirt without even realizing. Then you wonder why you no longer have the drive, the passion, the motivation to persist.

It is not what you want for yourself, it is what yourself wants for you. See, some things happen in this world that you will have no control over. And no matter how you insist on staying on a specific path, the wind will blow you away if it is not directly for you. Unbothered is what I feel now. I listened and felt and allow the wind to move me where it wished. No I was never obedient at first. I stood firm, rooted like a stubborn tree. I wanted what I thought was good for me and there is where I was going to spread my roots. But no matter how I tried to hold them into the ground, it would not have it my way. I had to move with the wind. Life is never set in stone. Things will happen to bring you exactly where you should be, and leave you free, free flowing to follow what had seemed like unaccomplishable dreams. On the real, true, made for your pathway; you will feel like life moving in a path of trust, love, peace and happiness. You must sometimes just let go to feel this. Unbothered. Feel unbothered. Unbothered about your pathway to success and ready and open to what life brings.